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Talk:The Case of Tommy Cooper/@comment-36627132-20180926132218
Spelling Issues: '''"went missing as students returned home from the school day, and Tommy never reached his house." the "and Tommy never reached his house" part is pointless and redundant, and it would flow better if it were "went missing as students returned home from school that day." "their results turned up empty-handed, as no clue leading to Tommy's whereabouts turned up." kinda redundant. "Vivian Cooper(42)" you forgot the space after her last name. Then his mother "explained that during a family gathering months prior, Jeremy had offered marijuana to Tommy, and kissed him on the cheek." why didn't she call the cops on him when that happened? '''Spelling issues 2: "2 days later, another" should be "Two days later", it is more comfortable to read the letter rather than see it. "Jeremy Cooper and Benson Cook were taken in for interrogation, and were considered the prime suspects in the homicide, due to their connection to Tommy" I think that second comma is unnecessary. "the fact that Jeremy's address was on Tommy's way home." this could bear better wording. "in an motorcycle accident, he sustained great injuries" I feel that a period would serve better than a comma. "Benson Cook died on July 1st, 2004, in an motorcycle accident, he sustained great injuries to the head, later dying in the hospital." It is redundant anyway that you mentioned him dying in the same sentance. "which depicted a youth, strongly resembling Tommy Cooper." comma is unnecessary. Plot issues: '''First off, I really don't think it is necessary to present all of the characters' ages. "It was intially feared that he had been abducted, so search parties and door-to-door searches were conducted" a kidnapper would hide him, it's not like they could just knock on a door and little Tommy would answer. "he may have been the victim of bullying." how would bullying cause him to dissapear? Run away maybe? "But that theory was quickly dispelled, as Tommy's classmates reported that he was well-liked and wasn't a victim of bullying." One of the first things they would probably do is ask his classmates about him. "Suspicion fell on Low's paternal uncle" who's Low? And if Benson Cook is a registered sex offender why was he allowed near Tommy? '''Plot Issues 2: "a nude, and limbless human torso was contained. The body parts were identified to be that of Tommy Cooper." Wait who could confirm that? And why? Do they have his DNA to match it with? And how can they confirm he had been sexually assaulted if it was just the torso and not any of his private parts? "It later came up that forensics had misidentified the human torso to be that of Tommy Cooper" Why wasn't this mentioned when you first said it was Tommy's body? And how did they mess up that bad? "The rest of Tommy Cooper's body parts have never been found." The rest? I didn't think they found any! Honestly, this is more of a crime story than a Creepypasta. While I'm not saying a Creepypasta can't also be a crime story, this one in particular just doesn't sit well with this site.